Juicing

No, I'm not referring to loading up on anabolic steroids. I'm referring to the new diet fad involving turning perfectly good solid food into liquid form.

Why, you might ask? Hey, me too.

I got started when my friend Deven suggested that I watch some documentary on Netflix titled, Fat, Sick, & Nearly Dead, which chronicles some gazillionaire from Australia's journey into weight loss. So I did. It was inspiring. Not only did Mr. Australian Big Bucks loose lots of weight, his rare skin condition cleared up, his cholesterol went down, and I'm pretty sure it can cure cancer, too, even though they didn't mention it in the documentary. How did he do it?

You guessed it- juicing.

The premise is, why eat only one celery stick when you can reduce an entire bushel down into liquid form and drink that, instead? The fiber that actually fills you up is taken out, and you get all of the "micro-nutrients" that are good for you. It's a micro-nutrient overload.

I really need to stop watching documentaries. I get all excited and gung-ho about whatever it is I see. So off I went to buy a brand-spanking new Jack LaLane juicer and an assortment of fruits and veggies. It just looks so darn appetizing in the pictures... In the documentary, Mr. ABB went on a 30-day (or was it 60-day? I can't remember) fast where all he consumed was juice. I decided that might be a little too extreme for me, so I decided on a nice healthy one-week fast. 7 days. No big deal, right?

WRONG

I have discovered that I HATE juicing. The only thing that I have gotten out of my juicer that I actually wanted to drink or found even remotely appetizing was straight apple juice. If I was feeling particularly adventurous, I'd throw a few grapes or (gasp) a pear into my apple juice. Veggies? Nope. I hate veggies, anyway (I know, I'm the world's worst vegetarian), so I'm not sure what made me think that their taste would magically transform if I just extracted their juice and drank that. Straight carrot juice is tolerable, but I am scared it will make me turn orange like I saw in that one House, M.D. episode.

I tried a variety of different recipes, I tried to make up my own, I tried the "fresh parsley trick" that someone recommended to me (where a handful of fresh parsley allegedly makes any juice taste better). None of it made a difference. I hate juicing. Even my apple juice, which is delicious, is such a PITA to clean up after that it's hardly worth it for one glass. So my $100+ juicer is now hanging out in my garage.

Knowing me, and my inability to completely admit defeat, it will probably live in the garage until I decide that I need to jump back on that bandwagon and try again. This will be a vicious cycle for at least the next few years. In fact, I was considering dragging it back out today for breakfast. Maybe I'm just a glutton for punishment like that.

The "Energy Efficient" Diet

I have to admit that the last few weeks have been crazy and I have slacked on my exercising. However, I am happy to report that I am still noticing the scale creeping slowly downward, albeit more slowly than when I hit the gym regularly. How, you might ask? I've been wondering the same thing. After pondering this phenomenon, I have come to the conclusion that while I was working out, and strictly dieting, I did in fact manage to form a few healthier habits. I have dramatically reduced the amount of crap food in my house. Well, the crap food that I like, anyway. I do not have potato chips, I do not have frozen dinners. I have a large basket full of a variety of fruits (apples, oranges, pears, bananas, plums, grapes, and kiwi, currently) and it sits out on my kitchen counter for easy access. I stock the fridge with bottles of water instead of cans of pop (yes, I call it "pop." I'm an Oregonian. Deal with it). The candy is gone, so when I am running out the door instead of grabbing a candy bar and a soda for energy, I grab an apple and a bottle of water. In the middle of the night when I am craving something sweet, my options are pretty much a.) bake a cake, b.) get in the car, drive to the store, and buy ice cream, or c.) Just eat some fruit. Gee, which one do I pick Every. Single. Time? When I am craving something salty, my options are generally to prepare some cooked food, or eat a pickle. 9 times out of 10, the pickle wins.

And the cool thing is, I don't even realize I'm dieting. Or at least I didn't, until I stepped on the scale 5lbs lighter than I was LAST time, with not a single workout under my belt since. So I was thinking I would call this "The Lazy Person's Diet." As in, if I keep only healthy food around, and I am too lazy to cook or bake or get in the car and drive to the store for ice cream, I WILL make better food choices out of necessity. It just happens.

But, as my dressage trainer is fond of saying, "I don't like the word 'lazy.' I prefer the term, 'energy efficient.'"

So, it's the "Energy Efficient" Diet.

Happy Lazy Energy Efficient Dieting!